If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
