You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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