Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
