I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
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Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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