I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
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i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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