Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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