i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I have post one night stand depression
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