I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize