Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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