I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
