So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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