I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
