Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
