have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
