Will you blow on my dice?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just high enough for therapy.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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