You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize