so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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