super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
