I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
