think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
