if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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