I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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