my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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