Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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