Got a toothbrush?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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