My room smells like vodka and shame
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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