i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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