I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
