i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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