and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
