Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
