Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
