I wanna bring you to show and tell
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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