I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
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you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
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i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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