It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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