there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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