Ambien. No doubt about it.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You were trust falling into bushes
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
