worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
