I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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