Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
