you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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