Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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