Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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