12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
