put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
