I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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