# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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