I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
