I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
