I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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