fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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