Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
