There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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