I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
