I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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