I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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