Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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