I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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