is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
