can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
