My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
